Before it Breaks

Brandi Carlile (http://www.brandicarlile.com/) is one of my favorite singer songwriters. I've seen her perform live 6 times in the past three years. Brandi hails from the Seattle, WA area but her biggest market for record sales and concert goers is Minneapolis. The first time I saw Brandi Carlile was at a not sold-out show at the Varsity Theater in Dinkeytown; the last time 3 weeks ago at one of the 2-night sold-out (in 2 hours) concerts at the O'Shaughnessy Auditorium in St. Paul. How far she has come in 3 years; and all at the young age of 26.

Her new CD, Give Up The Ghost, has a beautiful song title "Before it Breaks". Eloquently written and beautifully sung, the languid song and emotional lyrics are about a relationship in trouble..."say it's over, say I'm dreamin', say I'm better than you left me, say you're sorry I can take it, say you love me, say you don't, I can make my own mistakes...let it bend before it breaks".

The lyrics remind me of an essay I recently read about a marriage in trouble...after 20 years of marriage the husband wanted 'out'. There was no affair, no money problems, no job problems...the husband fell out of love and wanted out. His wife didn't give. Instead she told him to take his time and figure it out. Just figure it out. She wasn't going to leave him or their marriage. After 6 months their marriage healed; he healed. His wife did bend so their marriage didn't break.

Perhaps there is a lesson in waiting things out; not giving up. Fighting for what we believe. Fighting for believing in ourselves; in others; in our relationships. Maybe we bend too much but maybe not enough. Breaking something is permanent; bending allows for a return to what was or what can be. I'm going to let it bend before it breaks.