Three Precious Women

June 16, 1993. I'm not good at remembering dates - don't ask me when World War I started or ended; what years Lincoln was President; or when I had my first "boy" date. But I will always remember June 16, 1993, the day my mother died. She had just turned 52 a month before and was too young, way too young, to die. I was 30. A numb, angry, resentful, sad 30-year old soon-to-be-divorced, mother of a 3-year old, scared daughter. My mother was a gorgeous (former "Miss Shakopee" (MN)), caring, loving, generous woman who cared deeply for her family; sometimes far too deeply. Brain cancer struck her 18 months before she died. Right on time. After the initial diagnosis and surgery, all I remember the surgeon saying is that mom had 12-18 months. He offered no explanation, no condolences. We had mom for 18 months - thru two brain surgeries, partial paralysis and the last weeks of her life in hospice, mom fought the cancer as bravely and strongly as she could.

I miss my mom...sometimes it still hurts, like she died yesterday. The ache never quite goes away. I miss my mom when I look into my son's eyes; sad that he never really knew his grandma.

January 4, 2008. I remember this date as well. The date my dear grandmother V. passed away. She lived 92 long, wonderful years. Grandma lit up a room when she came in - her ruby red lips always smiling, her blue eyes sparkling. I miss her hugs. I miss the smell of her perfume. I miss her asking how everything is going - and her really wanting to know.

October 20, 2009. Today. A day like most others. I'm thinking of my grandma L. A spry and independent soon-to-be 91-year old. We went to an apple farm on Sunday and decorated her house with Halloween decorations. At 91, grandma can still get on her hands and knees to grab the Halloween decorations from the bottom of the linen closet. I helped but didn't get up as fast as she could. At 91 grandma is more flexible than me...I better make a New Year's resolution this year to start yoga again.

My mother and two grandmothers are the women who have surrounded and loved me during my life. They've taught me to love learning, finish school, take risks, take care of my baby son, take care of myself. I've grown into the independent, self-reliant woman I am today from the life lessons three precious women have taught me. I may not be good at remembering dates but I will always have the memories of a life consumed by the love of three very special women. I am a mother yet I will always remain a daughter and granddaughter.